Grammar and Scenario Discussion for The Feast

Hi everyone! I've been watching the feedback build for The Feast and wanted to address some interesting things one reviewer mentioned. She left this review (I'll quote her and leave my comments in between):

"Make an interesting TV series."

Thank you! I can see that, too. Hey maybe someday...

"I can't believe this author has no grammar checker for a short story! Use it! To figure out if you need to say "Riley and I" or "Riley and Me" just delete the "Riley and" part of the sentence. Would you say "She smiled at I" or "She smiled at me?" It's a no-brainer, especially since every word-processing program on the planet has a grammar-checker. You have to manually modify the program to say "I want to sound stupid." The uneducated phrasing took away from the story."

I tried to write in a way that let the conversation flow from Elira's head. She hasn't had proper schooling, just conversations with her Mom, so because I was writing in first person, I wanted it to be imperfect. However, it's been the only complaint people have mentioned, so I am going to fix it so that it doesn't cause some readers to stumble.

"Aside from that, my first reaction was disbelief. Not that I don't think humans would eat other humans for food -- I do. But humans are incredibly expensive to raise compared to rats, dogs, pigs, etc. Gestation is too long, and time to market is too long (even for veal). The story does say that food animals got sick from eating tainted grain, but there are plenty of wild critters that would have been raised instead. The auction makes sense, but it would be like the Hunger Games or The Lottery. And why bother with filling the teeth of your lunch meat?"

The government was already raising disease-free crops and animal meats, but they didn't like that they were left out of a black market that was lucrative. Consider human meat the "filet mignon" of the steak world. It's something more expensive. You'll find out a little more in book two and three about why the human population is still eating human flesh. As for the teeth - the human herd is well cared for - they have to be able to eat - but with Elira, remember she's on a platform as the "face" of the herd - so they take extra care of her.

"There's the question of language. Supposedly, the humans are told not to use language, so subsequent-generation humans would not speak. But we know better from parrots, cats, dogs and horses -- animals try to emulate sounds in order to communicate. A more realistic option would be to remove their toungues at a young age, and pickle them for sale."

I love the idea of the pickled tongues! How gruesome and wonderful would that have been? But it would be hard for the characters to communicate in my story. Plus, the Hunger Games had the tongues cut out so that might be too similar. I do have a use for tongues later though.

"Intriguing, but too much is out of sync to make sense. I didn't enjoy the grammatically incorrect writing at all, though I liked the fact that the girl in the story has little problem with accepting that she's meat."

I'm glad the reviewer enjoyed the fact that she doesn't have a problem accepting her fate. I wanted people to "get that." It makes sense when it's all you've ever known.

"A suggestion: Maybe read first-hand accounts of concentration/death camp survivors. See what their mental attitude was, especially if they were children or observed them. Kids might not be able to compare a life they don't know to the life they do. I wonder if PETA would object to humans being raised for food, or if they exist in this future. I bet they would support it; perhaps they would have been in charge of the original humans-for-food plan (in conjunction with Tyson and ADM, perhaps)."

On the first part - exactly. On the second re: PETA - that is answered in upcoming books. Love getting inside the minds of the readers! How fun :) Tiff

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The Feast Is Published!

Hi everyone! I just realized I never updated my blog when I published the first short story. Initially, I hoped it would be a trilogy, but because my confidence is fragile in the fiction world, I really wanted to get feedback quickly, so separating it into several short stories worked better for me.

The Feast is just $0.99 on Amazon and will remain that way. I want it to be affordable and allow people to try out the writing style before they invest more.

I was so excited when I got my cover back from my brilliant graphic designer, Rich at QuickSiteStudio.com. The graphic depicts exactly what I wanted it to:

It's a little sinister and sterile. The cutting utensils match the title perfectly.

The editing process was grueling. I kept second guessing myself and worrying the whole way through. But I love the way I'm viewing the characters. Elira (short i sound, not long) is so fascinating to me because she was born into the herd, so she doesn't thirst for freedom like her mother.

It made me think of how sometimes we hear of people who were kidnapped protecting their captors, or at the very least, not fighting back - even though they were once free. Imagine if you'd never been free, but been cared for as far as health, been fed regularly. Why would you feel a desire to go elsewhere?

I'm very proud of the book (short story) and can't wait to finish part 2. It's exciting!
Tiff ;)

Fiction Is a Longer Process Than Non Fiction

Well I sure was naive. I thought that once I had an idea (check), and was able to fill in the blanks of a story (check), I'd be able to write it all down and release it online for feedback (crickets).

Doesn't quite work that way. I did have my idea flood to me, and the story poured out of me from start to finish. But when I was done and I walked away from it for a couple of days, I realized that fiction is not like non-fiction at all - even with the idea and storyline written down.

With my non fiction works, it has become completely easy for me. I know of a problem. I know the solution. I write down my thoughts on it using my own experience and any additional research.

Fiction? Not even close, baby. This isn't a creation where my own success matters or facts count. This is all about entertainment. And while I entertain with my non fiction to some degree, it's more just letting people get to know me.

Fiction doesn't let anyone get to know me - they're getting to know my characters and a world they can't see unless I paint the picture for them.

So now a few days later, my Mom still reading it slowly and editing with notes, I have lost all that FAST minded mindset and put the brakes on this endeavor.

I view it more now like a slow cooker recipe instead of fast food. My non fiction is fast food. Tastes good. Fattens you up.Hits the spot. But I have lots of work to do.

One thing I realized is that I can NOT just sit and write like I do with my non fiction (which I'm comfortable with). I'm going to need a storyboard so I can see the flow.

With non fiction I can easily know in an instant - "Oh, I need to go back and put the blog creation before the product creation step because they can start affiliate marketing." Fiction doesn't work this way. I have to carefully remember my audience doesn't know the story in my head, and I need to reveal it to them in the right timeline.

And it's so exciting that scenes can be moved, characters can be added, and reactions can change - all on a whim at my discretion. It's like being a god of your own little world. You can't do that with non fiction. It's either one way - or it's NOT!

Part of me is petrified at this insight I gained today and the other is turned on by it all. It's exciting, and while I want to hurry up and "see if I suck" (sorry but I have to be honest), I don't want to see if I suck until I know I'm at least giving you something good to judge me by.

Vomiting a story onto paper in a flash isn't my best work. It's a start, yes. I finished something. But now I have to spice it up and garnish it and put it on a plate like art.

Yes, I'm a slow cooker. But maybe if I do it the right way, it'll be one of the better stories you've ever read than a rush job that makes you feel like you wasted your money.

Tiff :)

From Trilogy to Short Story Series

When I started writing my fiction series, I initially thought it would be a trilogy of novels. As I studied the business side of things, and realized I needed to know if the public was receptive to my fiction skills at all, I understood it needed to be released in a series of short stories.

Each book in the trilogy was already mapped out to be split into three sections, so this works out well. I finished the first story last night. I actually teared up at one scene - and I keep hoping now that others will feel the emotion and see a movie in their head the same way I am.

I finished at 8 PM last night and took a break. Watched an episode of Glee, ate some dinner (salad and Brussels sprouts with cheese), and then picked up a printed version and read over my work.

PANIC time!

I'm most critical of my own work. But I've been at non-fiction long enough and had so much incredible feedback over the years to have a bit of an ego. Not with fiction. I have no feedback other than my Mom, and I have never let myself finish a project, always abandoning it because I criticized myself to death.

I did the same thing last night. But instead of deleting the file, I revised. I added dialogue. I made it the best I could make it. Then I emailed it to my Mom. She's a great fiction writer and editor, and not afraid to tell me the truth.

I woke up and the ecover for my fiction novel was ready. It's amazing. It reflects the story perfectly. I called my Mom and she was honest with me - saying it's written in a voice that fits the character, but she did get bored on page 4. She told me why - I'll be fixing it. She was right.

She told me all the things she loved. She boosted my confidence. I'm still scared though. That's just not going to go away until I have experience and time under my belt. I don't mind haters, as long as there are fans, too.

Today I'm going to do some business work and clean house, step away from the fiction for awhile so I can revisit it with a clear head.

I am certain of one thing, though. I am damn proud of myself for finishing it. I haven't done that in forever. And it feels goooooood.

Tiff ;)

My Love Affair With the What If Genre

Technically, I know it's not a genre all on its own, but who cares - I'll make it one. Whenever I see a movie or read a book that has even an ounce of possibility in it, I instantly fall in love.

Last night I watched Limitless with Bradley Cooper. I remember seeing it as a trailer and knowing I wanted to see it when it started out saying that he was not homeless (which he looked like initially), but he was the only other thing that could cause someone to look so disheveled - a struggling writer.

The movie is a "what if" story about someone creating a pill that helps you tap into 100% of your brain, not the mere 10-20% humans know how to use currently.

It was incredible, except for the distorted scenes that sent my severe motion sickness into overload. I have always loved movies that take on this role - they're a far cry from something else I love, real human emotion stories like the movie Parenthood or Father of the Bride.

What if stories shouldn't BE. They're freaky. They're a little spooky because they COULD happen if someone or something made it so.

When I revisited my fiction talents this year, I initially started off with a combination what if/emotion story - a mother and son modern day story that is heart wrenching and later heart warming. I'll go back to it eventually.

But when a what if/creepy idea flooded my brain, it simply took over. It had the speed and thrill that the other didn't have. The other idea, more like a Jodi Picoult type genre, is something I would enjoy, but could easily put down when it was time to go to sleep.

The one I'm working on now is the kind of story where I extend my 30 minute bath into 1 hour or even an hour and a half just so I can read ONE MORE little chapter and find out what happens next. It's the kind where every chapter ends with action and each new one begins with a reaction, making you want to see how the main character handles it.

The novel I'm working on now is part 1 in a trilogy similar in genre to The Hunger Games. I am devouring those books - middle of the second right now. And yes, I emerge from my bath looking like a raisin every night, not caring one bit.

My trilogy is based on something that can really happen and in fact to a tiny degree, there have been stories of it happening lately. Usually, these are shocking and startling news clips. Very rare and something we all wrinkle our noses at. My trilogy expands on the premise of "what if" this startling occurrence became the norm.

It begins two generations into the turn of events, so that our main character was born into it but she's still connected to her mother, who was forced into it. Their viewpoints are at odds in the beginning and we'll see our main character evolve as if her eyes are being opened to the horror she once ignored as being normal.

I was thinking back on other what if stories I always liked that were a bit creepy. Total Recall comes to mind, too. That was original when Hollywood did it (the first time lol). What if they COULD implant a virtual vacation into your mind and it wound up going horribly wrong and/or there was a government conspiracy in the background? Love it.

Well, I'm really excited and look forward to sharing more about my story along the way. 


Tiff ;)

What I Hope My Stories Do

This is the start of my fiction career. Technically not the exact start, because I've been writing stories since the tender age of about 10, when The Secret Garden opened my eyes to the possibility that words can become movies inside someone's mind.

The problem for me was that fear kept me from finishing a story into a novel and releasing it into the wild for feedback. I wasn't even scared of readers' opinions. I was afraid of publishers and agents and rules and restrictions.

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to do things my way. And that's okay in my non fiction business and every other area of my life. I just didn't know it would be okay in the fiction world. Self publishing released me from those fears, so now I'm moving forward and I want to tell you the top 3 things I hope my stories do out in the wild:

1. I hope they infect people.


I want my fiction novels to get under your skin. That might mean you turn into a raving lunatic and bite my head off for creating something you think is so disgusting or ridiculous - or it might mean you email me like a well-intentioned stalker telling me you'll be watching me until I release the next installment.

I'll take either - because it will mean I got you to react to my work, and the worst thing in the world will be to get an indifferent response. A yawn. Something you toss back onto the bookshelf before you ever finish it.

2. I hope they make you "what if."


I'm the world's most professional what iffer. It has turned me into a helicopter parent, a grown woman who makes her MOM call HER when she gets home for the night, and a business woman who gets worried when her colleagues seem a bit off or haven''t Tweeted in a few days.

Whatever opinion of you have of that type of person one thing is for sure - if I love, like or admire you, I will be protective of you and turn honey badger (Google the viral video) in your defense. I believe in what iffing - I believe it can make you appreciate what you have, I think it lets others know you care (even as annoying as it may be), and I think it prevents stupid mistakes from ruining lives.

That's what all of my fiction is or will be about - what if scenarios that are never impossible at 100%. Even if there's just an inkling that it could happen, there's a story in it.


3. I hope they make you want to tell someone about them.


There are books I read that are decent and I don't regret buying them or spending time reading them. Then there are books I can't keep my mouth shut about. That's what I want my books to be to you.

There's a bit of ego in there, sure - I'd be lying if I said there wasn't. We all hope to have people like our work. But it's also just rewarding to know that you just had someone say that for an hour or a day or whatever, they got engrossed in your book because they just couldn't put it down. It makes you feel like you bettered the world in some small way - and I don't mean by saving the planet. I mean you made someone happy, period. They enjoyed some of their time today because of you.

Stay tuned for more and I look forward to getting to know my own "cool people" as John Locke (not the guy from lost) says about his fan base.

Tiff ;)